Maybe The Weight That Makes the Scale Go Up Isn’t Physical; It’s Emotional

If this will trigger your day and you don't want to have a conversation with yourself. Or sit with yourself. You can choose not to read this. 

But if you are ready to have this conversation. This is my story to tell. 

Not from a glossy magazine or some quick-fix health blog, but from the quiet room of a normal woman’s office ,where I’ve sat with many women over 40, hearing the same story again and again.

They come in exhausted, frustrated, sometimes even ashamed. They say: “I don’t recognize this body anymore. I do everything right ,I eat well, I move, I manage stress, but the weight won’t budge. I feel stuck, like my body is fighting me.”

And I listen. Because their bodies aren’t fighting them ,they’re trying to protect them.

Here’s what’s often missing in the conversation about women’s bodies after 40,  the invisible weight of the past and the invisible wounds no one talks about.

Imagine a suitcase. It’s not just filled with your current habits or hormones, but years ,decades ,of expectations, stress, childhood wounds, and societal pressures. You might have been taught to be strong, to put others first, to ignore your own needs. Maybe you grew up in a home where emotions were unsafe, or you faced criticism about your appearance from an early age.

This suitcase doesn’t just sit quietly. It affects how your nervous system runs ,how your body feels safe or unsafe, how it stores or releases energy, how it holds or lets go of fat.

Think about your body like a security guard. When it senses danger ,whether from stress, unresolved trauma, or relentless societal standards ,it tightens its grip. Fat becomes a shield. Metabolism slows down. It’s not a failure. It’s survival.

Have you noticed how some days, small stresses feel unbearable? Like your “window of tolerance” for stress shrinks unexpectedly? This isn’t just your imagination. It’s your nervous system signaling, “I need more care, more rest, more kindness.”

Women over 40 often find these windows narrowing ,not because they’re weaker, but because decades of stress and hormonal shifts rewire how the body handles pressure.

Let me ask you:

• When was the last time you truly listened to your body’s signals ,not to change it, but to understand it?

• What stories are you carrying that might be weighing you down more than your diet or exercise routine?

• How might your body be asking for safety and compassion, rather than punishment?

This isn’t about “eat less, move more” ,that old advice often makes the nervous system feel starved and unsafe, making it cling to fat like a life raft.

Instead, it’s about eating enough to nourish your body, moving in ways that feel joyful, and gently healing the stories held deep inside.

Healing your body after 40 is like befriending a long-time companion who’s been quietly struggling. It takes patience. It takes kindness. And most of all, it takes listening.

So if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or defeated, remember: your body is not the enemy. It’s trying to tell you something important.

And I’m here to help you hear it.

To living and not just surviving,

Adryenne
Coach, Yellowbirdie Wellness
Helping women 40+ lose fat, gain energy, and feel strong again

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